Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
