U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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