Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You are a genius and a whore.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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