It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
