He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
