I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
