I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
