she kept yelling 'call me bella'
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
