he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
