2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
