so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
