im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
