First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
