mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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