This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
