you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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