My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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