ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
