he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
