There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
