respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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