so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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