i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
