I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
