We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
