Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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