So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
