the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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