dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
vagina is talking i cant
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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