i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
