Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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