i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
