Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Randomize
