I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
