You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
