And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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