She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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