I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
