dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
