I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
