the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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