He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
