Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
