it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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