Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
