my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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