When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
