We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
