WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
