Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
drinking out of a sandbucket again
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
