If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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